Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Missing My Husband Dave . . .

I sure miss him . . he made me laugh everyday.  He never took anything too serious.  He was full of life and never wanted to give up.  His love carried me everyday and I sure mine carried him.  Still can't believe that he is gone . . unbelievable.  Can't quite go through his things yet, but I'm getting there.  Time to set some new goals for myself and try new things.  I've done alot of retail therapy and lots of pedicures lately.  My life is quiet again, like before Dave came into my life . . he was the noise and that noise kept me busy . . I loved every minute of it!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Fall's Coming!

How exciting  . . . time for a change!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Spread The Love

I'm working again and it feels good.  It helps me not to focus so much on my grieving.   Waking up in the morning and coming home in the afternoon is the hardest thing for me right now.  I wake up in the middle of the night and think about Dave.  Boy, do I miss him.  Towards the end, Dave was sleeping, sitting up,  in the den on the couch, it was hard for him to breathe when he would lay down.  All along, God was showing me these things and I guess I was in denial.  The days in California have been so sunny, but everything looks so ugly to me.  I have to learn how to find joy again in my life.

To all my friends in blogland . . . THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU ALL!  Your words have been so comforting and loving and I've never met any of you in person, but yet I can feel your love and kindness.
I think that was the purpose of starting a blog, God knew I would need the support.  Blogging is a wonderful way to express yourself, especially in these kind of life situations.

I need to find a way to give back for all the kindness that has been shown to me . .

The day Dave had his heart attack, that night God spoke to my heart and told me,  "Dave will be a shining star, your heart will fall, but you will prevail", I've held on to these words like no tomorrow.  I know God will speak to us if we really listen to him and press in.  When I sat next to Dave's bed in ICU, I opened my bible and found Philippians 2:12-18, the title of the chapter was "Shining as Stars".  This was the scripture I used at Dave's memorial.

Monday, August 2, 2010

New Beginnings

I don't know where I'm going . . I feel totally lost.  I know Dave would not want me to be unhappy and to go on living life as we "both" knew it.  I miss him terribly, I miss everything about him, especially his humor . . that boy could make me laugh everyday no matter what the situation was.  I never would refer to him as a man, I always called him a boy . . we met when we were 17 years old and he always looked the same to me.  He had a wonderful spirit about him, too kind of a heart and very funny laugh.  I've called his cell phone just to hear his voice . . to hard to listen too sometimes.

His death has challenged my faith . . I've had a hard time praying lately.  We don't always understand what the Lord has planned when these kind of things happen to us.   I prayed over Dave many times for healing and the Lord really did heal him . . . Wow!

My kids have been amazing  . . so strong.  I know I'm doing all the crying for them.  They all have their Dad's spirit . . STRONG and RESILIENT.  Knowing that has been a real comfort to me.

I'm sorry I haven't posted anything lately . . still need a little bit of time to get back into the swing of things again. 

"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you" (Psalm 84:12)