Friday, August 20, 2010

Spread The Love

I'm working again and it feels good.  It helps me not to focus so much on my grieving.   Waking up in the morning and coming home in the afternoon is the hardest thing for me right now.  I wake up in the middle of the night and think about Dave.  Boy, do I miss him.  Towards the end, Dave was sleeping, sitting up,  in the den on the couch, it was hard for him to breathe when he would lay down.  All along, God was showing me these things and I guess I was in denial.  The days in California have been so sunny, but everything looks so ugly to me.  I have to learn how to find joy again in my life.

To all my friends in blogland . . . THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU ALL!  Your words have been so comforting and loving and I've never met any of you in person, but yet I can feel your love and kindness.
I think that was the purpose of starting a blog, God knew I would need the support.  Blogging is a wonderful way to express yourself, especially in these kind of life situations.

I need to find a way to give back for all the kindness that has been shown to me . .

The day Dave had his heart attack, that night God spoke to my heart and told me,  "Dave will be a shining star, your heart will fall, but you will prevail", I've held on to these words like no tomorrow.  I know God will speak to us if we really listen to him and press in.  When I sat next to Dave's bed in ICU, I opened my bible and found Philippians 2:12-18, the title of the chapter was "Shining as Stars".  This was the scripture I used at Dave's memorial.


  1. I can't even imagine. Prayers for you! It takes such courage. XO

  2. It is so remarkable to know you had that experience you wrote about in your last paragraph. I pray for some joy to replace the pain you are enduring right now. It's good to hear your working has helped you a bit, and my heart goes out to you for the tough times spent at home. I'm thinking of you lots dear Sandy. Sending love to you. ~Lili

  3. Oh Sandy you already have given back the love just by being who you are. As for seeing the signs...it's always easy to see signs in retrospect.

    Don't torture yourself. Try to find new interests. Good luck in your professional endeavours. Your colleagues are lucky to have you amongst them.

    Courage and love to you.

  4. Sandy, it's so good to "hear" from you again:) I really believe grieving is a "one day at a time" process and some days are harder than others. From time to time, I remember this quote: "Perhaps thay are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy" and it brings me comfort. So, your husband could be a shining star, pouring his love on you. Wishing you peace...

  5. So very sorry for your loss....God bless you and your family with much comfort from God's Holy Spirit....God is able

  6. Sandy,
    It has been awhile since I last visted your blog. I am so sorry for your loss. I know what a hard time you must be going through. Sounds like you have your eyes fixed on your comfort...He is there with you even when you do not feel like He is. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

  7. My dear Sandy,
    You are a blog friend who has a special place in my heart.

    We share a similar journey although I may be a few steps ahead of you. When I began a blog in February 2008, never did it enter my heart that my beloved husband would pass away that same year, in November 2008.

    The outpouring of love and support that my blog friends helped so much in my healing journey.

    God knew, you are right. God prepared the way to healing way ahead of time.

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I have thought often of you, sometimes as I wake up nights, God puts your name in my heart.


  8. After reading this Post, I'm sure that David and God are very proud of you. I can tell that you are very strong, even though you may not think so at times. Just remember...one day at a time.
    Take care,
    Mary Lou

  9. Sandy, I just had to look up that passage in Philipians once I read your post. For some reason, I've never noticed the reference to stars in there before! It is a beautiful passage, isn't it? And there are so many layers of meaning in there that apply to the situation you find yourself in. I'm so glad that the Holy Spirit is a Comforter and speaks to us in our need.

    Think of all the implication of that one line "it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose" ... that means He hasn't forgotten us, won't leave us, doesn't take a "hands-off" approach to us, and has a good purpose for us! How comforting to know that we are not living our lives in vain, without purpose, just stumbling along trying to make sense of it all. No, as Christians, we do not "run or labor for nothing."

    Still praying for you my friend, that the Lord would be near to your heart and that you will feel His great comfort and strength.